College Relationships

College and Relationships, just like sanity and happiness, are an impossible combination, as said by Mark Twain. College relationships of any caliber is a lot of work. Now, I did not understand this term ‘work’ until my most recent relationship. I don’t mean that it’s work in the bad, stressful, dreaded sense but that there has to be a conscious effort for it to thrive. It’s no wonder most people stay away from them. Imagine the combo of medicine and relationships, there are even memes about the impossibilities of such combination.

There are four main relationships you must try to keep and maintain in college. Two of which are compulsory and one being optional, the optional one being a romantic relationship.

1 JESUS

One person you cannot go wrong with in college is God. You see, your friends will break down from the same stress as you, your parents may fail you and some days you may not be able to pick yourself up from where you are but guess who can always reach you no matter what, God. God has single-handedly helped me through college, no, He did not come down in a white cloud and a booming voice but he’s raised help for me when I least expected it and helped in the most difficult situations in ways I cannot explain. Having a relationship with God is very important. Even though , it may not be strong at first, keep trying and persisting. In time, you’ll realize that He’s all you’ll ever need.

2 PARENTS

This one is at the top of the human people list, because we make no effort whatsoever in keeping this relationship. It’s like you’re finally out of your parent’s home and now you can be the adult you want to be. Please with all the love that exists, call your parents, not just for money or to tell them how bad your scores are, but know how they’re faring. As you get older, so do they and with time, you may drift apart, especially if you’re not an only child. Please love them, if you had a lot of problems with them, settle them. If they annoy, it’ kind of their job to so be quick to forgive. Try to understand them, put yourself in their shoes and make out time to visit them. When they’re gone, you’ll not regret a single second of it.

3 FRIENDSHIPS

Friendships are so important. They are your unofficial family. They affect you positively nd negatively, pick them wisely. They frustrate you and you have to deal with all their crap. But the best part is that you know they really love you because they don’t have to but they chose to. Keep your friends near and dear to your heart. Don’t let the struggle of college keep you so busy that you make them second choice all the time. Hang out, delay your responsibilities for a second. The break will make you more efficient. Love them back, listen to them and help them through any situation in the way you can. Don’t be that person that always dumps their friends when they’re in a relationship. Make them a priority and hopefully, they’ll be worth it.

4 ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

If you do decide to date someone whether in your school or long distance, just know it’s not going to be easy. You’ll have to carefully map out time to involve this person in your life. Don’t expect them to magically understand everything going on. You’ll have to say how you feel and what you need all the time even if they attend the same school as you and they’re in your class. You’ll have to respect their feelings, endure their mood(s) and make them feel loved. When you spend time together it’s better not to dwell on just school work but getting to know each other. Put the phone DOWN. Pictures are okay but social media destroys relationships faster than you think. If there’s a fight settle it as quickly as possible. Don’t let ego get in the way and please DO NOT  use academics as an excuse to hide away from any problem(s). It never helps. Hopefully, your love for each other will see you through. However, if you begin to see the relationship as a job you ‘have’ to do, you may want to speak to your partner and decide if it is wise to continue.

In all, remember to always take care of yourself.

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You could also follow me @kristabeldubois across all platforms

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