There is a saying that silence is the best answer, well, for a fool. If you’re anything like me, who doesn’t like conflict, you probably do this often. It’s such a bad habit. I let people ride me, take me for granted and use me beyond reason just because I’d rather have peace than enter into a conflict. I’d rather slightly inconvenience myself than confront someone.
After I took a personality test and read the results (read more here), it felt like reading a diary someone secretly wrote about me. It physically drains me that I live in a world where I have to constantly fight for my rights all the time. Take for instance yesterday, I came out of my apartment to take a stroll to a nearby supermarket to get some groceries to make dinner. As soon as I stepped out, a group of men were just whistling and catcalling me. I ignored them and walked past, whereas my usual behaviour was to greet. Immediately I walked past them completely, a couple of them stood up and started yelling at me. I couldn’t make out the words because they had a thick accent. Anyways, I was frustrated. I hate catcalls even though I experience it almost everyday of my life. Some other girls would have shut them up especially because of the insults if I ever heard one but I didn’t.
Same thing happens in class, with friends and anywhere I find myself. I’m painfully soft, that’s why I tend to keep to myself and a small circle of friends. However, this has to stop. Now, I’m not saying you should be all out rude, calling people names or going round fighting people, verbally or physically. But if the need arises, you should stand up for yourself. If you feel uncomfortable, you should speak up. Sometimes, the person causing the discomfort may not be aware of the situation and may be more than glad to make you feel better.
As a child, I was an interesting personality mix, extroverted most of the time, bold enough to speak in public but not enough to raise controversy which showed my introverted side, and I still am.Sometimes I wonder why I’m not like others that could argue for hours and hours. Being a talkative, I was always asked to speak in debate, i always declined. I never saw the point. At the end of the day everyone went home with their opinions, just that one group was always well spoken so they won the prize. I’m working on myself and whoever is reading this and has similar experience should too. Whenever I’m in a situation where my mind says let it go and I find it really hard to but I want to d o so for peace’s sake, I know then that I should speak up. It takes practice but it works, It will happen eventually. Speak up, say how you feel. Your words might encourage another to take charge of their situation.
We need more voices to be heard. So many people are experiencing things they cannot say in the open because they feel they are the only ones going through such, so the more we speak up, the more confidence we give others. At your job, in your home, in your relationship, friendship, wherever, just speak up. Don’t die in silence. It would hurt to know that the reason you were silent was never appreciated. Open up. Find a safe space and let it out. There are many platforms to do so and if you don’t find one, create it. You have a unique mind and maybe you’re the only one thinking of that idea. Maybe, one day we’ll finally have a world that doesn’t need people to scream before their voices are heard but till then, do not keep shut.
I’ll always be a nice person, I’ll climb mountains for the people I love, and I’ll always go the extra mile for someone who needs the extra support. But I’ve decided not to let myself get hurt anymore, because it has affected me; especially mentally and emotionally. I’ve healed, and I’d like to keep it that way. To all the nice and kind people out there who can’t help it, I know the world is harsh but don’t change. Be the ray of sunshine in a snowstorm. The world needs more of us.