Letting Go: Setting Yourself Free

People think forgiveness begins and ends with saying ‘ I’m sorry’. When we think of the phrase ‘forgive and forget’, we only see and hear the forgive part, the forget part is well, forgotten. Isn’t that interesting? I’m sure forgiveness exists in every religion in one form or the other. Jesus told Peter to forgive 77 x 7 times which was code for forgive until you can’t anymore translated as a memory wipe whenever we forgive. Ironically, we do everything but that.

Can we really forget? Probably not exactly. You’d need an actual memory wipe for that. lol. But. Do you know that feeling when you think of a situation from your past that used to hurt and now you feel nothing. It’s now a memory of what used to be your reality. That’s as close as you get. If you’re lucky, you might reach that point where it never really comes up in your thoughts or conversation, so its stored in your passive memory and might require some kind of description of the the incident to remind you how and why you were hurt. Wouldn’t you like that?

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.

-Mahatma Gandhi

Forgiveness is hard. It requires you to accept an apology that was never given and to heal a wound you didn’t inflict. You have to pick yourself up for what seems like no reason. If you have to cry, if you have to think about it, whatever it takes but by the time you get to the end of this, I want you to decide to set yourself free.  You have to move forward to achieve all that you’re meant to. You may not realize it but the chains we use on others bind us too. Like revenge, it always two person package.

There are two easy steps to do this:

  • Forgive
  • Forget

Okay that may not be explanatory.

  • Forgive by trying to remember why and how you got hurt and you started feeling the way you. You just have to do this one time. Think about everything. Pool all the feelings together. Imagine having a conversation with the person, what would they say? what would you have them say? Then. They’ve said it. All you have to do is accept their apology.  Now, let everything go and take a deep breath in and out. It’s over. You may still feel a little but at least today is day one of your recovery.
  • Forget – Don’t think about it anymore. If and when you see them, smile and wave. Resolve the feelings within or express them safely. Write them on paper, throw them away, make a tape and delete it. Whatever works for you. Your peace the most important factor. They may not feel remorse but it’s their burden to carry, not yours.

forgiveness

 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

Matt 5: 44  NIV

Phew! Look at you. 10 lbs lighter already. Is it just me or did the room just light up? Try not to harbor any more unhealthy feelings. If you have to talk to the person in question, by all means do.

If, you happen to be the reason someone else is hurt, and it haunts you day and night. You should go apologize in person. They don’t have to accept it. All you need do is sincerely apologize. People reject apologies because they sense insincerity or they still feel hurt. Just let them be, in time, they’ll come around. If they never do, it’s not your fault. You’ve done your part and they’re the one with the burden now. You just have to get right with God. You may try to make it up to them,if you or they feel you should.

let go

At the end of the day. The idea is to love. Love and love unconditionally. It will always set you free.

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33 thoughts on “Letting Go: Setting Yourself Free

  1. My view is that one should focus on letting go whatever negative feelings that are going to undermine your own mental and emotional well being. Make productive use of the anger that characterize feelings of unforgiveness. One must always remember the lessons of a painful experience so as not to repeat the decisions/mistakes that may have caused that particular situation.

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  2. Forgiving and forgetting the people who’ve hurt you is a very hard thing to do. But once you managed to learn how to do it, you will indeed feel lighter and much better. You will find peace.

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  3. Sometimes forgiving and forgetting are hard. I think you need to forgive but never forget that way you never make that mistake twice!

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  4. I love that Gandhi quote. Saying sorry is definitely never easy, but it makes you a better, and stronger person thereafter.

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  5. Forgetting is definitely much harder. There are things I’ve forgiven people for, but every once in a while I’ll think about the situation out of the blue. No rhyme or reason, and it puts me in a funk. I’m finding it becomes more scarce as time goes by, but to totally forget? I hope that day comes.

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  6. This is real practical advice that people should take to heart. I had to forgive some people who never asked for it and probably never will. It wasn’t easy, but you’re right it’s worth it.

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  7. Love reading this! My 2nd grader was telling me last night that love is everything when we were having some discussion. This message definitely hit home. It’s easier to forgive than to forget.

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  8. I always work on letting things go. Sometimes I have a habit of holding onto things and I shouldn’t. It’s a waste of energy.

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  9. I believe the phrase forgive and forget, but that forget part you want to forget and he goes days, months, years without remembering, BUT there is always that time or day you kinda look back in your mind/head like myself I do this something and I remember even though I try hard to forget but it’s always there in the back of your mind when your either just daydreaming or thinking or laying in bed. It’s hard to explain, but everyone is different and has there moments ha ha.

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