First you love and then you falter. To err is human. If you hang around someone long enough, you must annoy or offend them. Sincerely, if you never have a misunderstanding someone and you’ve known them for a very long time, you may not be as close as you think.
Last time, we talked about the love languages. This time, apology languages. Sincerely, I didn’t know this was a thing until I noticed that even though a particular friend of mine said sorry when he offended me, I always got more annoyed. To me, he wasn’t sorry even though he absolutely was. This was a very confusing concept for me and having taken the love languages test, I knew there had to be something on apology. Thanks again to Dr. Gary Chapman and Google Search I found the apology languages.
Just like love languages, the most common error is usually using our form of apology rather than our partners. Without further ado, here they are:
1 EXPRESSING REGRET
For some people, you have to show regret for what you’ve done. It has nothing to do with words at all. It’s all in the body language. Your gestures must show that you feel regretful. If your body and facial expressions fail to do so, no matter the words you speak, even the tongues of a thousand angels., the person you have offended will still remain offended.
2 ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY
This is very difficult to do. It’s always easier to pint fingers and put the blame on someone else other than ourselves, but sometimes all that is required is for you to accept responsibility for what you did. Three words, “I was wrong” or “It’s my fault”. Magic words. Most people fail to do this. The words have to be said. ” I’m sorry” is never a substitute.
3 GENUINE REPENTANCE
This must also be spoken. While, after your offence, you may have planned and come up with all sorts of methods to avoid repetition of the scenario, you still have to say it. No one can hear the voices in your head or the intentions of your heart. For the person to feel like you have truly repented, they have to hear you say the words. Something along the lines of “It won’t happen again” after saying you’re sorry
4 ASKING FOR FORGIVENESS
By now, you must have realized that saying sorry is not enough. A person with this language needs you to ask for forgiveness. Whether or not they forgive, is entirely up to them. The main point is for you to give them an opportunity to say yes or no.
Sincerely, if you offend me and you try this, I will blow it out of proportion. Trying to restitute immediately, to me is like running away from the responsibility and consequences of your actions. However, people here require you to make up in some type of way for your wrong doing. Gifts or offering to fix the havoc you wreaked is usually enough as long as it is relevant to the situation in some way.
There you go, the five ways most people in the world accept apologies. So save yourself the stress and take the test! See that rhymed. Make sure to take the test with your S/O. It will strengthen your bonds and make settling of arguments much easier.
If you loved this, share with a friend and tell me what yours is/are in the comment section.