There are lots of definitions of ‘confidence’ nowadays. I scrolled through a thread on Quora and I loved the responses I saw. Each person had a unique view on the concept. The most interesting response I read was on Yahoo answers. The answer was from three years ago and they broke it down into the most amazing concept. Whoever that person is, they literally wrote this post for me and I have them to thank for it.
Well this is a simple question. When you were younger lets say the
youngest point in your life that you can remember how confident were you?
Now you might say ‘oh well I was as confident as I ever was’ but what were
you confident in? I know for sure that you weren’t confident in algebra, in
touching hot water, staying home alone.. In-fact I’m pretty sure you were not
that confident in things you now find easy. Why is this? Well there are different
types of confidence. Many in-fact but here are the main ones:
(i,e sports, playing instruments,day-to-day tasks) Just knowing what you
can and cannot physically do. Although much of this is mental for example savants
who can play the piano without practise. I’m labelling it as physical confidence
because it’s the confidence you place in what you can and cannot do physically.
Physical confidence comes from either understanding the task before hand like
savants do which is quite difficult. Or by practising an individual tasks until
your brain understands the tasks and you become confident in it.
(your ability to socialize confidently, take part in conversations, being your self
regardless of what you think society would think,) Understanding your part in society
and overcoming both the irrational and rational fears you have. Or ignoring the
negative responses you might get from society and just being arrogant people who
do this usually give up or receive a reality check which plunges them into depression.
Although some people benefit from being arrogant as it gives them the space and
confidence they need to develop their own personalities. Or by lying to yourself
and acting as if you don’t care about what society thinks, although most of the time
people who do this usually begin get fed up of having to fake confidence and stop
which also plunges them into depression.
Either way Social confidence is nearly 100% mental and people who are Socially confident
just have a different window of perception it has nothing to do with what they are
physically capable of but how they choose to perceive social incidences.
(confidence in your thoughts, your analytical skills, your sense of logic)
Understanding your own mental abilities by comparing them to others around you. For example comparing how fast you can think in comparison to your friends and just knowing you’re smarter than others. Or by basing your mental confidence on your past accomplishments such as being smartest in all of your classes, winning a spelling bee. Or by just knowing what you can potentially do and basing your mental confidence on your mental potential (which is a lot).
(being emotionally secure, willing to take emotional risks, not fearing rejection)
Understanding your own emotions and overcoming the irrational fears such as rejection.
Again this all mental although spiritualists believe that all emotions come from the heart
and that to overcome emotions we need to reflect and understand them I do believe this to be true to an extent. I don’t believe emotions come from our heart*. But I do believe to understand them takes a bit of self-reflection once we have understood our own emotions, we can easily get rid of all the irrational fears behind them making us emotionally confident.
(your personality, your appearance, sense of humor)
To be confident in who you are it helps to like who you are in the first place if you
don’t like yourself as a person then it is quite hard to be consistently confident in who you are. Confidence in who you are also usually comes from others (which is the category after this) because most of us have to rely on others to indicate how acceptable we are as people.
When we look in the mirror only a minority of us are comfortable in how we look and are confident in our appearance. Personal appearance is a much more complex form of confidence because it comes from others, ourself and the media unlike all the other forms of confidence. But still even if you have in confidence
in your appearance you still have the potential to be confident in other ways.
Confidence we gain through others (physical, social, mental, emotional, personal)
I would say around 10% or even less of the confidence we possess comes from others this can be any of the main 4 types of confidence. We pick up huge amounts of confidence from others while we are young from others around us. We also pick up confidence from others throughout the day. If were amongst one of the lucky ones anyway but it doesn’t last that ling.
Some people gain no confidence from others at all but are still very self-confident. Naturally we as humans seem to seek out attention and admiration from others to build our own confidence and to assure us this doesn’t mean we need it’s just that we are naturally hard-wired to seek it out.
So confidence comes from a majority of places but mainly ourselves.
And I know I missed out a lot but hey i wrote this quick.
By Leeban Abdullahi
email me and tell me what you think firstname.lastname@example.org
Source: Yahoo Answers
N:B Some grammatical errors have been corrected
I think this just explains that you can have confidence in one area and lack in another.
To gain complete confidence, is to master area of life without fail.
What is confidence to you?
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