People think forgiveness begins and ends with saying ‘ I’m sorry’. When we think of the phrase ‘forgive and forget’, we only see and hear the forgive part, the forget part is well, forgotten. Isn’t that interesting? I’m sure forgiveness exists in every religion in one form or the other. Jesus told Peter to forgive 77 x 7 times which was code for forgive until you can’t anymore translated as a memory wipe whenever we forgive. Ironically, we do everything but that.
Can we really forget? Probably not exactly. You’d need an actual memory wipe for that. lol. But. Do you know that feeling when you think of a situation from your past that used to hurt and now you feel nothing. It’s now a memory of what used to be your reality. That’s as close as you get. If you’re lucky, you might reach that point where it never really comes up in your thoughts or conversation, so its stored in your passive memory and might require some kind of description of the the incident to remind you how and why you were hurt. Wouldn’t you like that?
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.
Forgiveness is hard. It requires you to accept an apology that was never given and to heal a wound you didn’t inflict. You have to pick yourself up for what seems like no reason. If you have to cry, if you have to think about it, whatever it takes but by the time you get to the end of this, I want you to decide to set yourself free. You have to move forward to achieve all that you’re meant to. You may not realize it but the chains we use on others bind us too. Like revenge, it always two person package.
There are two easy steps to do this:
Okay that may not be explanatory.
- Forgive by trying to remember why and how you got hurt and you started feeling the way you. You just have to do this one time. Think about everything. Pool all the feelings together. Imagine having a conversation with the person, what would they say? what would you have them say? Then. They’ve said it. All you have to do is accept their apology. Now, let everything go and take a deep breath in and out. It’s over. You may still feel a little but at least today is day one of your recovery.
- Forget – Don’t think about it anymore. If and when you see them, smile and wave. Resolve the feelings within or express them safely. Write them on paper, throw them away, make a tape and delete it. Whatever works for you. Your peace the most important factor. They may not feel remorse but it’s their burden to carry, not yours.
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
Matt 5: 44 NIV
Phew! Look at you. 10 lbs lighter already. Is it just me or did the room just light up? Try not to harbor any more unhealthy feelings. If you have to talk to the person in question, by all means do.
If, you happen to be the reason someone else is hurt, and it haunts you day and night. You should go apologize in person. They don’t have to accept it. All you need do is sincerely apologize. People reject apologies because they sense insincerity or they still feel hurt. Just let them be, in time, they’ll come around. If they never do, it’s not your fault. You’ve done your part and they’re the one with the burden now. You just have to get right with God. You may try to make it up to them,if you or they feel you should.
At the end of the day. The idea is to love. Love and love unconditionally. It will always set you free.