‘Grown Up’ In Your Twenties

There’s a trend that seems to be very popular among this generation. It’s where ‘grown up’ is synonymous to ‘boring’. I’m not even sure how this came to be but it is what it is. Similarly, being cool is defined as going out to parties at night, drinking, smoking and generally lots of promiscuity and irresponsibility. The worst part is there is no in-between. After noticing these default settings, I became a blogger and found a lot of people especially ladies in their twenties, mostly early twenties, married. This confused me even more. Weren’t they all supposed to be drinking or something? How do they have two kids and have a better beach body than I do?

The worst part is there is no in-between. After noticing these default settings, I became a blogger and found a lot of people especially ladies in their twenties, mostly early twenties, married. This confused me even more. Weren’t they all supposed to be drinking or something? How do they have two kids and have a better beach body than I do? It was then I realized that the only news that travels fast is bad news.

First of all, being grown up when you’re young is not boring. Secondly, irresponsibility is not cool, it’s just being irresponsible.

I don’t like pointing fingers, but a lot of online magazines and ‘advice columns’ have done everything but help the situation. When you have bucket lists filled with ‘get drunk once’, have a one-night stand with a stranger’ and the like. I get that adrenaline is important for youths but if they already have a tendency to misbehave why not encourage them to do different and get the same results rather than fueling a roaring open flame. Maybe it’s just my Christian and moral side speaking but you know what I mean.

beach-beverage-caribbean-cocktail-68672

So, what does it mean to be to be ‘grown up’?

  • First, it means you’re more careful with decisions you make and you don’t just act based on your feelings. Sometimes you splurge, sometimes you do things drastically but it doesn’t mean it is the usual but it should be normal. Being careful doesn’t have to mean doing nothing at all.
  • It means caring about people a lot and not just yourself. You always find ways to be of help and other people’s feelings where due, are carefully considered. It’s not an ‘I don’t care situation’ all the time.
  • It also means being open to positive and constructive criticism. Being willing to grow out of your comfort zone at any given time to become a better person you were five minutes ago and not letting your feelings or ego get in the way of your progress.
  • It means being ready to be your own cheerleader when no-one else seems to appreciate your efforts or thank you for the wonderful things you do and you’ve accomplished.
  • It means standing up for yourself and for others when you can and should. It’s knowing your worth and not letting anyone treat you any different.
  • It means knowing and understanding the meaning of compromise and sacrifice. That nothing good comes easy and you can’t always get what you want but you know when you deserve it and then you demand it.
  • Finally, it’s having fun and meeting new people, who may become a permanent part of your life and knowing when to let go of those that won’t be.

 

Adulting, as it is popularly called, doesn’t have to be difficult. You don’t have to fail at it. You can only fail a standardized test because there is a fixed expectation. Everyone grows at different paces. Just because someone has their life together does not mean it’s easy. They probably spent a lot of time making it that way. Couching and reading a lot of ‘failing at life’ memes doesn’t make you that person. At least not when you do it  ALL the time.

Be your own competition and make it a point to be better every day.

When you look back, you’ll realize how far you’ve grown, however fast or slow it may be.

Things Every Student Should Make Time For

I know the title reads “Student” but it really should read “Everyone”. Once again, these things are quite obvious but with the stress that this era brings, we might as well remind ourselves that we need to breathe every once in a while. With college comes a lot of responsibility, so it is only right to keep our priorities in check. Here they are:

1 SLEEP

Can I stress this enough? NO. Most students get less than 4 hours of sleep per day, which is unhealthy. It is not enough. Wait let me capitalize that NOT ENOUGH! Please learn to take care of your body, and sleep is extremely important. Maybe during exam periods, you could get a little sleep deprived, otherwise you should be sleeping normally. If possible, have a sleep cycle/schedule.

2 EXERCISE

Okay, maybe this one might require more than the usual amount of effort but once you can do it for 21 days without quitting, you’re good to go. A 30 minute cardio, run, even if it’s in your house. Squat for those buns, Sit ups and some push ups, your 50-year-old body will thank you later.

3 EATING ACTUAL FOOD

Students are the kings and queens of unhealthy. The usual @I don’t have time to cook”. Please make sure you have time to cook. IF you have time for YouTube videos, you have time o cook and Ramen doesn’t count. Junk, junk, junk will have you dying before you finish school. Shout-out to Medical students everywhere. Cut down on the alcohol too. I know you think you’re invincible but like my Pathology teacher says, you’ll just fall down and die one day, of HOCM (look that up), just kidding… it has nothing to do with this

4 PLANNING

You probably hate that word by now, but it is true. Don’t become that person that plans too much and can’t fit anyone or anything impromptu into their “schedule”, but planning helps especially with school work and staying on top of your health. Probably on the weekends, you could check to see how your school work is going, how much you’ve done and what’s left. Maybe if you’re feeling adventurous, you could meal prep for the week.

5 TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS

In college, mostly friends, but family because many of us school far away from home and require WhatsApp calls and Skype videos to keep in touch. Don’t call only when you’ve run out of funds. As for friends, plan get-togethers, I personally hang out with my friends at lunch in school, mostly because we’re not financially buoyant enough for a lot of outings. It’s always fun to laugh, play games and tease each other. Plus it takes away from the school stress.

6 ALONE TIME

Alone time is so important. It’s very easy to get drained from everything that takes away your energy, even things you love. So it’s important to just have time to yourself to enable you relax and unwind without the outside disturbance. Sit, meditate, pray and enjoy things you like in your own company

7 SCHOOL WORK

You didn’t think I’d leave this out, did you? Well, the sole purpose of being in school is school work and probably getting out. I know I’d love to get out soon. So while making time for everything listed above, do not forget school work. Time flies when you’re having fun and you have more fun especially the guilt-free kind when you’re done with all you responsibilities. Always stay on top of school work even if it seems impossible. Your grades will be more bearable to look at.

If there’s anything I missed, please feel free to leave them in the comment section. Have a good one lovelies!

How To Stop Relying on your parents for money

Being in college right now, you’re probably in your late teens or early twenties. Feels awesome! You’ve got the world in your hand and the earth under your feet. Daddy sends you money for rent, utilities and upkeep. That’s cool, after all it is their responsibility. Reality, however, still exists and your reality is that 4 years will fly by and suddenly everyone will expect you to have it all figured out. One of those things will be your finances. So here are some ways you could cut a few strings;

1      List all the things you receive money for. Write them down, how much is allocated for what and for a specified period of time, say weekly or monthly. e.g Food $50, Rent $250 etc

2      Now, budget for all utilities.

Most times, the rent is fixed, but you could always look for a cheaper apartment or share a room if you’re comfortable with it. The calculate how much you already spend on utilities and decide how much you want to spend from now.

3.     Cut down on utilities – You could do that by reducing how often you do laundry.If you’re not alone in your apartment, wash your clothes together, increasing the load and reducing the number of cycles. You could also reduce the number of times you microwave food (it’s not exactly healthy anyway)numbers-money-calculating-calculation

4.     Start managing your money, don’t spend unnecessarily but don’t be stingy either. Junk food, excess outings should be cut down. If you want to, split the bill with your friends.

5.      Track and save whatever is left.

6.      Set goals, so adult hood doesn’t catch you by surprise. Whatever your plans for life are, begin to do things each day that brings you closer to your goal.

7       Invest the cash you have in hand. You could start a business doing something you love on the side that would return income. Or you could even donate. Depends how you plan to spend your money.

A little side tip is to eat before going shopping to prevent spending money on junk food. Also, don’t carry more money than you need, this would require you to write a list and stick to it. Cut down on impulsive spending, it’ll save you a lot.

7 Apartments You’ll find as a student

If you’ve looked for a house before, especially as a student, you’ve probably stumbled on one of these:

1    The Dream Housepexels-photo-189296.jpg – As a student, you probably need just bed space, a kitchen, a bathroom and a laundry. However, this house comes with a swimming pool, a maid, a cook, a cleaner, a masseuse and probably a driver but the rent is enough to buy you new identity. It’s a dream you can’t afford and should probably wake up now.

2.   The Cheap sham shackpexels-photo-87307 – This is the complete opposite of your dream house. It’s usually situated in the middle of nowhere and is neither near the city nor the major road. It has four bedrooms, each the size of a dog’s kennel and expects everyone to share one bathroom. The price is ridiculously cheap but the fear of death makes you run away asap.

3.    The DIfficult Choicepexels-photo-164466.jpg – These houses check off more than half of your must-have list but the one or two unchecked ones are usually important and there’s always an uncertainty as to what you can give up. For example it could be far from your school but the price is within your range. Or the rooms might be slightly smaller, or you’d have to sare a bathroom or even a room. However they’re very beautiful and difficult to give up.

4.   The Compromisepexels-photo-66404 – These are the apartments you find when you’re absolutely desperate. You’d have to give up something you feel is necessary but you endure because of your desperation. The house is usually dilapidated with a funny structure. I once found a house that it’s toilet was inside the kitchen. The rent is usually cheap but it’s not worth it. You feel like you sold your soul. Eventually, you move out as soon as you can to where you prefer.

5.   Almost There pexels-photo-127611– This apartment is, like it’s name, almost there. It has all the necessities but one. However, since the laws of demand and supply states that for certain goods, with a small change in price, causes a drastic change in demand, you decline. To you, though the price is reasonable, the compromise is not worth it. Sometimes, these houses have everything, but their price is slightly above budget.

6.  The Unreasonable Onepexels-photo-172194.jpg – The landlord of this house usually sounds like he’s high on something. The house is as  basic as basic comes. No extras or upgrades, just the usual space. However, he expects you to pay your tuition and your first child. After seeing the house, you might be excited but on hearing the price you just begin to see faults that may not even be there just to get out and once you get home, you and your friends talk about the guy for the next three years. The house is always a good laugh. Eventually, he reduces the price because the house stays vacant for a really long time.

7   The Optimum pexels-photo-77931– This is the best choice given the time and the budget. It ticks off everything on your list and at first you think the price would be high but to your surprise, the rent is just right. You smile, thank the landlord and you’re just all too excited to move in. Many students don’t find this optimum but if you did, congrats to you.

 

7 Tips on Dealing With Stress

I’m writing this post way early into the year and semester so when the stress ensues, there’ll be a quick fix for it. It’s a double bonus as these tips also work for preventing stress. Without further ado, here you go:

1.  Eat Wellpexels-photo-218844.jpg – The rule is quite simple . Eat breakfast like a king, Lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper. This way you not only eat well, but eat healthy. Your body is a temple, treat it as such.  When you get stressed, you often forget to eat, as your brain tends to deal with any overwhelming problem first to enable you relax.

2.  Limit Your Stimulant Intakelove-beans-caffeine-coffee – Shout out to all the coffee addicts out there. I don’t know how you get past that strong smell. From coffee to even alcohol, which tends to be the go to when stressed, you should avoid them as much as possible. Coffee blocks the adenosine receptors in your body and tricks your body into thinking you’re not tired. However, when it wears off, you crash. It’s basically a mini drug. Water does your body more good than they will. Stressed or not,taking stimulants is not a habit to be messed with.

3.   Sleeppexels-photo-271897.jpg – For at least five hours. Please, I’m pleading with you. No matter how hard you work, if you’re dead, you can’t gain from it. Okay, that was scary but you get the point. Please sleep well. It’s really important. The world can stand still for five hours.

4.   Exercisepexels-photo-176782 – No. Don’t say you don’t have time. 30 minutes is not too much to ask. You don’t have to get abs or rippling muscles. Just enough to get your heart pumping. It could also be an outlet for anger like boxing plus it releases endorphins that make you happy. At first, you might feel like you’re dying but when you see progress, for example 10s plank to 20s plank, you’ll feel accomplished. Also, if it’s emotional stress, it could be your revenge body.

5.Declutterpexels-photo-218413 – Clear up your schedule. You’re probably doing more than you should at a time. Give yourself a break. List all the things you should be doing (feel like you should be doing). Try to break it down into smaller portions and handle one at a time. You’ll get more done in a shorter time. If, however, you feel like you should be doing all of the things in your list, then, see how much you’re actually doing to fix it. You’re probably spending most of your time worrying about things you can’t fix. If you can’t help it, leave it alone.

6.   Take time offpexels-photo-134630 – Sometimes abandoning everything and forcing things to an abrupt halt is the best decision. Even a computer has a “force stop” option. Truth is, in your absence, life goes on and that thing that seems like it would not be done without you, will eventually get done. If you’re tired and stressed out and you can’t take it anymore, drop it, even if it’s just for a short while. Rest. If you’re hitting a wall while trying to fix things, you’ve probably overworked yourself. That’s your body’s defense system to prevent overload. Just let things be, later, you can always come back.

7. Do something you love pexels-photo-67818– Which you probably haven’t had time for recently. Walk your dog, go to the beach, eat ice-cream. Or even something a little childish, run around in the rain, sit outside at night and talk with a close friend. Talk to someone. Just do something that genuinely makes you happy. Once you’re smiling again, you’ll be in better shape to finish what you started.

I hope these tips were useful. Let me know in the comments. Happy stress relief!

Disclaimer: All tips written here are suggestions based on my opinion. Stress could be a sign of serious medical attention. Please seek professional advice.