Service: A Form of Gratitude

Did you know you could show appreciation in other ways than saying thank you and giving gifts. Sincere appreciation is hard to come by nowadays, people don’t even say ‘Thank you’ anymore. To summarize, people now say Chivalry is dead. I disagree. It’s scarce but not dead. I mean endangered species are still species right? I was taking the 5 languages of Apology test by Gary Chapman because I was arguing with someone that for me, saying sorry doesn’t just fly with me and there are many ways to apologize. I read emotions, facial expressions and body language but what I hate the most is when someone never actually acknowledges that they’re wrong or doesn’t think they are especially when they couldn’t be more wrong. You can take the test here. Anyways I digress.

Have you ever considered being of service to anyone? No matter who you are and how materialistic you might be, our innate selves love the idea that someone would go out of their way to ‘do’ something for us. Not pay someone to do it or but something that does it, but actually do something for us with their time and their whole hearts. It’s funny but service differs from scenario to scenario. For example, if a very strict superior tells you to take a break after working very hard, that they’ll finish it up, it would make you feel very happy because you’ve been appreciated as opposed to your busy friend who you’d want to just give you five minutes of their time so you can hang out together. It’s a very common phenomenon. Children of rich kids want their parent’s attention so they can play ball or watch a movie together, wives of busy spouses just want their husbands to have a candlelit or fireplace dinner with them. It all boils down to service. Volunteering to do something out of your normal schedule which may or may not be convenient for you.

Why do we all want this? Because humans love to feel important and it is only for an important person you would stop everything. I’m sure by now someone must have popped up in your mind. This applies to not only your spouse, friend or family but your community. Sometimes you see people in charge of community affairs saying that even though monetary donations are great, hands on service is often needed as well. It builds a bond among the members of the community. So? how can you be of help? There are many ways you could be of service to anyone or any group. The trick is to ‘See a need, fill a need’

Hence, in honor of the upcoming  Mother’s Day, here’s a thought. Instead of the usual ‘Mother’s Day Gift Ideas’ which a lot of you might be considering, in addition, spend time with your mama. Some mothers would kill just to cook with you or have a family dinner or have an outing with her, just mother to child. I also realize that some of you may have lost your mommies. You know what? Find a mama with no children or a child with no mama. Remember see a need, fill a need. As much as you ca, be of service to someone. The material things may get lost and stolen or even out of date but the memories now and the smile across their face is what you should live for. They are priceless.

Happy Mother’s Day in advance. To all the moms out there, we love and appreciate you.

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Time To Re-Focus

I may be talking to you. I may be talking to me. You’ll never know.

ANGER TRIGGER

Today is Monday, the first day of the week, and it’s the perfect time to do things right to make the week go smoothly. Yesterday, I got angry. Instagram changed its algorithm again and engagement on my page came crashing down to the floor. I have about 1.2K followers with an average engagement of 80-100 likes and 10 comments per post. It’s not much but I was proud of it. Now, it dropped to 20 likes per post, the comment section too embarrassing to speak of. To make matters worse, I was reading blogs on a group thread and I saw a blogger complaining of being locked out of her Facebook account; her stats dropped to about 75 per day, from 250-450 per day. She has had her blog for approx 42 days, just over a month. I was awed by her success, and curious. My quick guess was that she had put in a lot of work on social media promotions, and she attested to that. The best part was that her friends and family had no part in her success. It was all her.

RASH DECISIONS

Just after I finished praising her, and also sympathizing with her for her account loss, I became mad. Why didn’t I do as well? My blog is twice as old as hers with half the success; maybe one-third. I was sad and broken. Why did I have to fail so much? Everyone else seemed to be doing just fine. But was this true? I put in a lot of work into blogging and I have to juggle it with school and all, but that’s just life for you. Guess what I did? Since the anger started from Instagram, I went over to my unfollowers app and unfollowed everybody who didn’t follow me back. I saved some people because I really like their feeds but the rest, all gone. I also discovered that you could remove followers – that is people who follow you, that you don’t want anymore; you could remove them from being your followers. My reason was that I could not have over 1000 people who don’t care following me. I didn’t want my page to look like it was unreal, or that I bought followers. I was wrong.

I was simultaneously complaining to my friend about the drop and how I was just tired of trying to be appeal to people. He told me to take deep breaths. Then he asked me: “Why do you blog?”. “Because I love it”, I replied. “Then why did you remove your followers?”, he asked. I was dumbfounded. I didn’t know what to say. He continued: “You started the blog to be an inspiration to people. If you want to inspire people, why take away the opportunity for them to be inspired. Now, they can’t see what you post, or hear what you have to say. Is that what you want?”

REMORSE

I became sad all over again. I had become so engrossed in the thought of getting to 10K followers with at least 5% engagement so that some big company can sponsor me and I can make a little change out of something I love doing. I forgot the main reason I started this and had become completely sidetracked. I felt really remorseful. I don’t know the usernames of the people I removed but I’m so sorry, wherever you are. My pride got the best of me and I let numbers define me. I was so concerned about statistics that I forgot that these were real people, with real stories, real joys, real problems, and real hopes. Yes, I want success but I don’t want it if it means selling my soul or losing my morals. The deals, sponsorship, and endorsements will come when they will and I’ll be right here when they do. I’m here to inspire and I never want to forget that.

FINAL WORDS

To you reading this, whatever you do, don’t forget why you started. Don’t sell yourself short. Like the song “I Hope You Dance” the lyrics say “When you come close to selling out, reconsider”. I hope you do reconsider. At school, work and your personal endeavors, never ever forget what your initial vision was . Only change for the better, not because of what you could get or what people say. Don’t ever forget it.

Discovering Yourself

There’s a lot to do this month, with new year resolutions and all, but while you’re making decisions this year to become a better you, a question you should ask yourself is: Do I really know myself? It’s a deep question if you think of it critically because you are a product of interaction with people, the experiences you’ve had and your environment moderated with  your individual perception.

Phew so much grammar. Anyway, there’s one way to start, finding out your personality type here. If you don’t have the time to here’s a rundown of the 16 personalities (according to Jung’s and Briggs Myers’ theories of personality type.) and they are divided into four main groups;

Disclaimer: The information below is not a form of professional advice. This post contains information based on research carried out by professionals sourced online and is only for information purposes.

  1. THE ANALYSTS

These include the;

  • INTJ which represents Introvert, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging. They are very Imaginative and Strategic.
  • INTP which represents  Introvert, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving. They are curious and love inventing.
  • ENTJ which represents Extrovert, Intuitive, Thinking, Feeling. They are bold and strong-willed.
  • ENTP which represents Extrovert, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging. They are curious and smart.

2. THE DIPLOMATS

These include the:

  •  INFJ which represents Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging. They are quiet and mystical.
  •  INFP which represents Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving. They are poetic, kind and altruistic.
  •  ENFJ which represents Extrovert, Intuitive,Feeling, Judging. They are charismatic and inspiring leaders.
  •  ENFP which represents Extrovert, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving. They are enthusiastic, creative and sociable.

3.  THE SENTINELS

These include the:

  • ISTJ which represents Introvert, Sensing, Thinking, Judging.  They are practical and love facts.
  • ISFJ which represents Introvert, Sensing, Feeling, Judging. They are very dedicated and warm protectors.
  • ESTJ which represents  Extrovert, Sensing, Thinking, Judging. They are administrators are good at managing things.
  • ESFJ which represents  Extrovert, Sensing, Feeling, Judging. They are extraordinarily caring, social and popular.

4.   THE EXPLORERS

These include the:

  • ISTP which represents Introvert, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving. They are bold and experimental.
  • ISFP which represents Introvert, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving. They are flexible and are great artists.
  • ESTP which represents  Extrovert, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving. They are smart energeetic and perceptive.
  • ESFP which represents  Extrovert, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving.  They are spontaneous, energetic and enthusiastic.

This is just a summary of the personalities that exist. Now, the importance of learning about your personality type, is to help you understand yourself better and understand why you act the way you do. If you follow the link , after you take the test, you’ll see that it explains behavior in relationships, among friends and even career paths to pursue. It’s not magic or like horoscopes, it’s just study based research that describes human behavior and personalities.

I plead that you take out time to answer the quiz, read through the description and apply the knowledge in your life. You could take the quiz alongside a significant other,it helps create better understanding in your relationship. It should not be used as an excuse like “this is the way I am” but rather for personal growth. Keep your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses. On a final note, know that personalities change with time and environment, for example, I changed from one to another and people are often combinations of personalities but one personality is always the most dominant.